Life can feel very hard sometimes. And there are so many things I wish I had learned sooner, or that someone had told me when I was younger. Here are some tips, truths and modern day bits of wisdom that I have picked up over the years. Some were handed down to me by trusted mentors and teaches, others from well written books. And others learned through painful trial and error and experiencing day to day life. All have been tried and tested, both by me and my clients. I hope you find them useful, that they save you unnecessary headache and pain and most importantly make your life a more beautiful one to live.
1. Take it Slow.
Don’t be in such a rush to get everywhere and get it all done – it’s never all done! And what if it is? Is that the finish line you want to race towards? Set goals and realistic time frames and enjoy the ride
2. Rest More
It’s so easy to get sucked into a break-neck pace and then collapse in exhaustion. You are not at your best and seldom do much worthwhile in the couple of hours before the collapse. Rest. Rejuvenate. Revitalize yourself before your body pulls the emergency brake and forces you to do so.
3. Create Community & Spend Real Time With Them
Many of us don’t live close to family or childhood friends anymore, but you can create community around you. People are important. Community, companionship and camaraderie will support you through the struggles in life… or at the very least give you someone to have a drink with and blow off steam!
4. Exercise Exercise
I know you’ve heard this before, but your body really does get the final say – if it quits, so do you! Take care of it, keep it moving, limber and strong. A healthy strong body is a great foundation for a healthy strong life.
5. Eat Fresh Whole Foods
Our bodies are made of live cells, so when you can, eat live cells and give it great building blocks to work with. Another way to look at this, “If it grows, eat it. If it doesn’t, don’t” Try going for a few days or a week and eat nothing with a label. Notice if this is tough to do? Does it disrupt your routine? Your body will thank you in the end.
6. Let Go of What Other People Think
Try adopting the phrase ‘What you think of me is none of my business.” You can’t control it anyway, so who cares! Most of the time people are thinking about themselves much more than they are about you. Everyone has their own lives, emotions and day to day challenges that fight for their attention. Just be you and get on with living your life.
7. Be Brave.
At the end of your life, what would you regret not doing? What chances will you regret not taking? You’re not a kid anymore so stop letting the “boogie man” run your life. Chances are the consequences to most of your actions are far less than you might think. And whatever they are, trust yourself to handle them.
8. Trust Yourself More.
Yes, you can do it! You’re an adult with adult capabilities. If you don’t know how to deal with something, ask. Get help. Learn more. Grow more. Your capabilities are far greater than you know.
9. Let Go of Complaining.
Fix it if you can. Deal with it if you have to. Get help or let it go. Complaining sucks the air out of a room and the energy from everyone in it – including you, even when you’re just wandering around grumbling to yourself about how hard or unfair things or people are. Move on and move forward.
10. Assess. Correct. Move Forward.
This is one you’ll hear me say a lot. Life will continually present you with problems and challenges; it’s just part of living. Whether in business or personal, you are going to keep running up against obstacles, fires to put out and things that need to be fixed – sometimes even your own mistakes. Assess the situation. Correct what you need to. Keep going. Do yourself a favor and try not to make it more complicated than that.
11. Resent No One… Including Yourself.
If you knew how to do better, you would have. Let yourself off the hook for past mistakes and choose better next time. Assess. Correct. Move forward. That’s it. Equally, don’t resent someone else for a choice you’ve made… like saying yes when you didn’t want to.
12. Say No When You Need to, and Yes When You Want To
This is such a simple thing but causes so many people so much grief. How many times have you said yes when you didn’t want to, yet turned down something you would have loved to do? We get caught up in feelings of obligation or guilt. “No” is better than resentment, and “Yes” is better than regret.
13. Be Okay With Feeling Awkward When its a Means to an End
Awkward and uncomfortable go hand in hand with personal and professional growth. if you’re going to try something you’ve never done before, a little uncertainty is healthy and means your sane. It doesn’t necessarily mean it’s time to back off. If the results are worth it, breathe, keep going, and you’ll come out the other side.
14. Pay Attention to What People Do… Not What They Say
Maya Angelou once said, “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.” Actions speak louder than words – and I didn’t make that one up either. We hang on people’s words when it’s what we want to hear and what we want to believe. Be brave, pay attention and take their actions at face value. It may save you a lot of heartache in the end.
15. You Can’t Change Anyone… Unless They’re In Diapers.
Really and truly you can’t. And do you want people constantly trying to change you? No! It doesn’t feel good. It feels disrespectful and unloving. Let other people be, to live their own lives and have their own experiences. Take care of you and living your truth and the right people will naturally will come into your life.
There. Don’t you feel better already? We instinctively hold our breath in times of shock or trauma, and with the constant stressors of modern day life breath-holding is very common. Stop, plant both feet flat on the ground, fillip your lungs, drop your shoulders and just breathe. It immediately loosens muscles, relieves stress and drops the stress hormone levels.
17. Write in a Journal
Get it out on paper, whatever is locked up in your head and your heart. It will help you to express yourself more freely, know and understand yourself better and sometimes just unload. It’s interesting to look back over the years and see how much has changed.
18. Don’t Say “I love you” Unless You Mean It
It’s just unkind. Don’t be reckless with anyone’s heart, and don’t put up with them being reckless with yours.
19. When You Give, Let It Go.
A true gift comes from the heart. Let it go without expectations of how the other person should react or what they should do. If someone gave you $100 do you want them to tell you how to spend it? Really let it go. Trust me, it feels better.
20. Find the Right Place For You.
You will thrive when you are in the right place! Whether it’s the right city, town, country or community. Apple trees don’t grow on the beach – it’s all about the right conditions and environment. Find what’s right for you. Trust your intuition on this one, internally … you know.
21. Trust Your Intuition / Gut.
The worst mistakes I have made in my life have been when I’ve gone against my intuition. “Gut feeling” is something even Warren Buffet talks about. Trust it. No one knows you better than you do and when you get that “funny feeling” to do something or not, pay attention. There is a wisdom within us that reason does not know.
22. Make Something.
You don’t have to be Picasso or to change the landscape of a country, but create from your heart and your soul. Write, paint, build, knit or take pictures to document your life and those of your family. Leave footprints behind. What would this planet be without everything created by those who came before us.
23. Let Go of Perfectionism.
I am a perfectionist so this one is tough for me, but done is better than unfinished and perfect. If you have to choose, just do it. You can finesse, fine tune and improve later.
24. Give to Someone Who Can Never Repay You.
Life has a way of giving back, but giving to someone who can’t do anything for you takes you out of yourself. For a moment, your life is about more than just the little space you inhabit on this planet. It connects you to the whole and opens your heart.
25. Keep An Open Heart.
We’ve all been hurt, but shutting down does nothing to punish the other person but continually wounds you. You deserve better. You deserve to feel love. Always being prepared for battle is the surest way to bring it on. Walk with greater wisdom and discernment, but with an open heart. You’re smarter now and can take care of yourself better. Trust that.
I hope these serve you and help you to live a more radiant, incredible and fulfilled life.