Yesterday, at the end of a long text, a very spiritual and deep thinking friend of mine typed “How r u?”
I thought about it, I mean really thought about it. Beyond the quick answer of “fine” “tired” or “good thanks!” I thought about how we normally answer that question.
As adults, we become so polite – we give pat, simplistic answers so as not to engage too deeply with others and not upset each other. (ask a child how they are and see what kind of response you get!) But when we do this often enough, of clean, non-offensive answers become habit, even to ourselves. We forget how to answer “How are you?” truthfully, deeply and soulfully, and we stop checking in with how we feel.
When I offered up a real response, something truthful in the moment, reflecting my own feelings, it opened the door to receive a truthful, heartfelt response. Suddenly we had deep discussion – even via text. There was intimacy, empathy, connection and understanding. We both stood fully in our truths and shared that with each other.
So…. How are You?
See if you can answer that question honestly, openly and without judgment, knowing that’s just where you are and how you feel at this moment in time; it can change in a day, a week or an hour. And if you’re really brave, ask someone else how they truly are, you may be surprised at the connection it brings.
We feel our feeling whether we want to feel them or not. When we try to stuff things down and cover them up, it’s like trying to hold a beach ball under water – eventually it’s going to pop up and it probably won’t be graceful! When we check in with ourselves and acknowledge what is really going on we become fully present in the current moment, and that is always where our power lies. (pretending it’s not raining won’t stop you from getting wet!) Fully present and conscious we are empowered to redirect or change our current situation or maybe fan the flames of something truly great!
Ask yourself daily “How am I right now? How do I feel?” And listen with curiosity, kindness and love.