“New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.” C.S. Lewis
Sometimes you just don’t know how to go on; a situation becomes stuck, impassable or even impossible. Or maybe someone else makes the choice for you. When you can no longer go on, for whatever reason, you have to navigate a new beginning.
New beginnings, especially when they aren’t your choice can be painful and frightening. Here are 4 simple steps to help you turn a painful ending in to a happier new beginning.
1. Be Aware of Your Choices and Make New Ones.
Especially when we’re in a situation that we don’t like and wasn’t entirely our own choice, like a relationship ending, being laid off from work or suffering a life changing illness, we quickly begin to feel like a victim of our circumstances. I’ve been there, and that is a very heavy downward spiral. Every choice we make in life creates and defines who we are, even the smallest ones. Like whether we prefer coffee or tea, what color our hair is, the clothes we choose to wear, the books or articles we read, how we do or don’t exercise our bodies, all define who we are. Start becoming highly aware of all the choices you do have in each day, and begin making new ones if you need a fresh start.
This is the part where you find out who you really are.
2. Be Open to Possibilities.
C. S. Lewis once said, “There are far better things ahead than what we leave behind.” It is so easy to forget this, but often painful endings are clearing out the debris and cobwebs and making room for something more beautiful and that serves our life better at this time. (think of home renovations) Make a list of what was good about the last situation, that you would miss, want to keep or repeat, what was uncomfortable or unpleasant and you are better off with without, and get intentional about what you want moving forward.
Just because something good ends, doesn’t mean that something better won’t begin.
3. Treat every new venture or relationship as an experiment.
So often we go into our new beginnings full of expectations; what‘s going to happen, what it should look like , and how we thing we’re going to feel. See if you can approach each new beginning as an experiment with the attitude of “What is the reality of this situation?” Once you can get clear on that and can be objective, you can make the decision of whether or not this is good for you and whether or not to continue or stay.
Endings = New Beginnings
4. Decide to Do It Differently.
Three little words can change your life, “From now on….” . Once you know what worked in the past and what didn’t and what you really want moving forward, decide what you’re going to do “From now on…” If there was an life changing illness, you may need to make some healthier living choices from now on. A relationship, career or financial crisis often also triggers the need for change in that particular area of our lives.
“Sometimes it takes a painful experience to make us change our ways.” Proverbs 20:30
As always, I welcome your comments below. And what are you going to do differently “From now on….” You never know how your answer may change someone else’s life.
From My Heart to Yours,